The lessons I learned from traveling and living abroad. Part 1

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I have been living abroad for almost 10 years now. I also love traveling and meeting people from different places. I am glad to say that I have friends from all over the world. Some of them I met during my travel trips, others while I was living in the Netherlands or during my student years in France. Now i still live in France (being originally from Bulgaria) and I work for an international NGO which allows me to meet and to interact with foreigners on a daily basis.

So, for these almost 10 years of living in different countries and traveling, I can definitely say that the one thing that made me the person I am today, is the permanent contact with people who are different than me – coming from different countries, having different values and visions of the world than mine, having different life goals. This has been definitely the most enriching and fulfilling experience so far.

Now, working with people who live in extreme poverty and who (most of them) have never gone out not only of theirs hometown and country, but also of their neighborhood, made me appreciate even more the chance that I have to live abroad and travel a lot. It made me also realize how important traveling is for people and for their personal development and self-confidence, how interacting with people who are different than you makes you more empathetic, open minded and tolerant.

Traveling and living in foreign countries can teach you a lot about yourself, people and life, about what really matters and how you can see beauty in everything around you. It makes you realize that you are just a tiny small piece of this big world, that there are people with bigger problems than yours, that life out of your hometown is still the same and somehow completely different, that people all over the world look for the same things, but in a different way, that everything comes to an end... that after all, this life is the greatest and wildest journey you will ever experience.

So, as a proud Bulgarian born and raised in a small town of roses eating yogurt every single day, I moved to France for my studies and instead of saying just « hi » to people started doing « la bise », then lived in the Netherlands where I biked in snow and in rain and moved back to France, meanwhile I was traveling alone and with people, with no luggage or money, I was getting lost and found and now I would like to share with you the lessons I learned so far from this crazy journey.

Many of our understandings about life are based on our culture.

People in different countries have different understandings of life. All of them are mostly based on their culture. Culture determines in many ways how the people of a country will think and how they will live their life and what theirs life goals will be. For example, in eastern European countries, where I come from, most of the people think that having children and a family, having a good carrier and a big house should be every person's goal in life. Also going to university, having a degree, no matter what degree, but just having one (two or tree is even better) is an obligation in order to be well seen and perceived in the society.

For a long time I thought that this is how it is and that every person should want all these things. When I started traveling and meeting people from different cultures, I met many who had never gone to uni, who were working as bar tenders, who were traveling full-time with no degree and no perspectives of starting a family... I was simply mind blown. At first, I could not understand it. They had no one of the things that I thought a person should have in their life... but they were happy anyways. They were in peace with themselves, they all looked so fulfilled, energized and ready to live their life to the fullest. I remember that I secretly thought how lucky they were for not having the pressure of the society on theirs shoulders... I was so naïve to think this way. We all have the society's pressure on our shoulders no matter what we do in life. However, it takes courage and self-confidence to go against this pressure and do what it feels good for you. This is the only possible way to live your best life one day.

What is socially accepted in your country may not be in another one.

Our lifestyle is mainly based on the lifestyle of the ones that surround us. Our lifestyle also shapes our character and temper. People in my country love dancing, having parties, drinking a lot. They believe that no matter what happens in life, we should have fun and enjoy ourselves. Bulgarian people are generally not rich, but they are very generous and like being in service of others. They will welcome a lost stranger in their house without thinking twice, they will feed him like he is a king and try to show him the best parts of the town. After two days spent together, they will tell him that he is their friend for life.

In other countries people will never do that, they will be much more reserved at the beginning and start opening up more and more with time. Especially, people from western countries will be very mistrustful and even a little bit cold in the beginning. You need to be patient in order to earn their trust.

In some countries people in general are very emotional and can get angry pretty easily and also calm down within 5 minutes, in others, people will never show theirs emotions, will stay cool even though they are exploding from the inside.

All these examples show that people have a very different perception of life and the world that surrounds them based on cultural and social traditions and norms that have been established for hundreds of years. What is socially accepted in one country is not in another one. There is nothing wrong with you or with the others, it is all about local culture and lifestyle.

Normal is relative. Knowing the social codes is a game changer.

When I first moved to France, I was so shocked to understand that a “normal” handshake for French people is a very formal and unusual thing to do when meeting a person for the first time. French do “la bise” - a small kiss on each cheek. For many people this is very weird, but not for French. For them it is weird if you give them your hand or want to hug them (something that I was more used to do). Spanish people like the physical touch and closeness. For many of us this could be way too intimate for people who barely know each other.

So, it is true that when we go to a new place it is very important to get to know the social codes because otherwise people look at you like you come not from a different country, but from a different planet. Often is very funny though! What is normal for you it is not always for other people with a different culture, education and lifestyle. You don't have to change your habits if you don't feel it, but you could always try to understand why people do certain things and why they don't do others.

You will learn one of the most useful skills in life – how to adapt.

Meeting people from different places, living in different countries, traveling and so on, puts you often in situations where you feel the need to adapt, to kind of fit in. We all want to feel like being at our place, being a part of a group. No one likes being an outsider. And when you are a foreigner, you can very easily feel like one. I remember my first year in France. Every time when I was with French people, I was feeling like an alien. I was still very stuck in my Bulgarian culture and way of thinking. I was very judgmental because I was very different from all those people and they were also very different from me. I could not open up and understand that instead of judging and thinking “these people are so weird” I should had embraced the fact that all humans are unique and different in a very beautiful way and sometimes great relationships start from that. This was also the reason why I could not find my place in any group of French people.

If you travel a lot or live in a new country, you will learn how to adapt and fit in in foreign for you groups and places. This is a skill that everybody can use even in a situation with folks from their home country. Sometimes we can feel like we don't fit in even when we are home, even with people that we know for a long time. After all, it all comes back to personalities and even though a big part of one's personality is shaped by their culture, being open minded and curious about who the other person is, is a completely personal thing having nothing to do with the culture, but more with the person's interests and personal education.

Everything in life is temporary.

The more you travel and change the place where you live, the more you understand that everything in life is temporary. It all comes to an end sooner or later. Only in France, I lived in tree different cities in 8 years. For all this time I met many people, I made many friends, I built incredible relationships that I will never forget. Sometimes I think of the things that I did, the people who were with me during these times of my life, how great or hard it was and now it is all in the past. All this is good memories who made me the person I am today. Some of these memories are sweet and I love going back to them, and others are bittersweet, reminding me of the lessons I had to learn.

At the end, I realize that during my life, I will meet a lot of amazing people. Most of them, I don't even know yet. With some I will be happy, with others I will be sad, angry, disappointed. Some people will even make me experience all of these feelings. And then, it will end and something or someone else will come along. It is all a part of our journey. Everything is temporary. Do not get emotionally attached to anything. Appreciate the good things, learn the lessons from the bad ones and know that one day it will all come to an end – good or bad. Life goes on.

Sometimes our differences will bring us closer and it is fabulous!

One of the greatest things about traveling and living abroad is the people we meet. They are so different than us. They grew up in a different environment and with different values and beliefs, they have a different cultural education and when they click with us, it is just fabulous. It is amazing to build friendships with people that you will not normally meet in your hometown or country.

This is a prove that even if we are “different” very often we are also “the same”. Our differences can bring us closer and create a great bond between people. We can learn a lot from each other and we can grow together as unique individuals. Everyone with their own culture and personality, but enriched with some beeps and bops from the new culture and way of seeing the world.

Be curious about life, people and the world.

One of the best gifts one could get from having multiple experiences abroad, is the raising level of curiosity for people, for the world and for life in general. Many people think that being curious is something bad because they relate it to rumors and gossips, but being intellectually curious is maybe one of the most important things one could learn in their life so far. Asking questions, having the curiosity to understand, just to understand without judging, is a great personal power.

When you go to new countries and you meet new people, they will show you places and will explain to you traditions that you don't necessarily understand or had been aware of their existence. Your curiosity to understand why the people in this country do something will reveal to you so many things about their way of thinking and their life philosophy. Even if you are not normally a curious person, you will want at some point to ask questions and to understand. Being a foreigner means that two cultures meet up and try to make a match. In order to make a match, they need to understand each other. Being curious will make you want to know more about the new culture, about the new person in front of you and what is really fabulous and most important is that in this way YOU start to know more about yourself.

Learn how to be open to new things and experiences.

If you want to learn and grow as an individual, you will have to experience new things. There is no other way. Going to a new country gives you endless possibilities of trying new things – eating food that you have not tried before, adapting to new cultural behaviors and traditions, trying a new lifestyle.

Before going to the Netherlands I didn't even know how to ride a bicycle (yes, I know, it is a shame, but this is how it was, true fact!). If you know a little bit the Dutch culture, you will know that these people are bike freaks – they do everything by bike anytime! They will bike in rain, in snow, in a storm, maybe even during a tornado and will manage to have one hand for their umbrella and maybe the other one to text someone while still riding their bike. Impressive! Well, as you can imagine, I was not this kind of a person. But unfortunately, it is kind of difficult to live in the Netherlands without knowing how to ride a bicycle. So I had to learn and then, I started doing almost everything by bike. I will probably never try to ride a bike with one hand or no hands (I almost killed myself once!), but the thing is that I needed to open up myself to the new culture and experience it, give it try. Otherwise, I don't see the point in living in a new country if you don't try new things. Now, I know how to ride a bike (I think so)!

You will definitely learn how to be more open for the unknown. Sometimes you will even have to face your fears in order to find a place in this new culture (you tell me!) and this is great because it makes you go out of your comfort zone and become even better than you were before.

People have different priorities in life.

In some countries like for example eastern European ones people believe that having a “comfortable” lifestyle should be everybody's goal even if this means having a work that you don't necessarily like and working all the time. People in these countries (mostly because of the post-communism effect) want to have a stable settled life – a job that will last forever, a house that will also last forever and a family that has to last forever as well. In other places, like Barcelona for example, people are chill. They want to have fun, no pressure, not rushing, party every night, going to the beach every day... this is the perfect life for them. The French dream will be to get a permanent job position because this is what gives them stability. They will also go on a strike without a doubt if they think that something in their job is against theirs rights. In some countries like Italy, Spain, Poland there are many religious people. This determines in many ways how they perceive marriage and romantic relationships. And it is true that for many of them marriage (especially, religious marriage) is very important.

All my travels made me see how people in different countries have really different priorities in life based on their culture and education. It is incredible how your environment can shape your personality and your first impressions of the world and the society. This is why it is so important to travel and to see new horizons in order to understand that it is never only black and white. People can have different lifestyles than yours and still be happy. We all seek happiness and personal fulfillment – some people see this in having a family and a house, others in having fun and enjoying every single day like it is their last or having a great career or traveling the world. We all need to find what is really important to us in order to create a lifestyle that suits us and makes us happy.

What people eat tells a lot about them.

One thing that maybe people all over the world love is food. This is also one of the things that everybody wants definitely to try while visiting a new place. The food people eat and all the traditions coming along with it tell a lot about the culture and the locals' lifestyle.

In France people eat cheese, chocolate, put butter everywhere and drink wine. For them food is all about the pleasure. They will take their time and eat slowly wanting to feel every bite's flavors. For them food is very important. They will always prioritize quality over quantity. They are very picky when it comes to food. These same understandings also rely to their lifestyle. In Bulgaria people drink the local traditional alcohol - rakia with every meal, they eat lots of salads, meat and bread. They can have dinner for 5 hours – drinking, making jokes, singing songs. For us eating is our way to connect to people, to talk, to know each other better. It is not so important what we are going to eat but with whom. In the Netherlands people love eating sandwiches for lunch. Actually, they never have hot meals for lunch. They also will have dinner at 5pm. They are very practical, I think, when it comes to everything, not only to food. In the UK the typical English breakfast is maybe my typical lunch or dinner. I have never lived there, but I am pretty sure that this is something that tells a lot about English people.

Everywhere you go, you will see different food patterns that might surprise you, but will definitely tell you a lot about the locals and their lifestyle. Also, food is very closely related to history. In countries like Italy where people eat lots of pasta and bread, this is a big sign of long times of big poverty. In the North of France and Belgium people eat chips and drink beer, also related to poverty and the fact that people couldn't drink the water they had because it was dirty, so instead, they had to drink beer. Only taking a look at the local food, you can learn a lot about the place you visit or you live in.

There are so many things we can learn from traveling and living abroad. In this article I share only 10 of them. In my next one, I have 10 more to share. Stay tuned for it. Traveling and living in different places, meeting new people, learning new languages is maybe the most enriching and eye-opening experience one can have in a lifetime. After every trip, after every new person we meet, even after every new meal we taste, we are not the same person anymore. We discover something new – something new about the world, but also about ourselves. Traveling is like love, if after it you are not changed, you haven't traveled enough. Love, Elena

You can also check :
The lessons I learned from traveling and living abroad. Part 2

How to travel on a budget and why this will completely change your life

Why is solo traveling your path to self-discovery?