Why is solo traveling your path to self-discovery?

Photo by Philipp Kammere

I still remember my first solo travel like it was yesterday. I was so scared, nervous and thinking that I am completely insane and I am going to die! I had this idea to travel alone for a longtime before actually doing it. I was waiting for the right moment, maybe because of the reasons I just told you – I thought it was crazy, it was dangerous and my parents would lose theirs minds and not be able to sleep until I come back. Well, it was almost like that (it was not so dangerous as I thought it was going to be)... and it was the best experience ever. I will never forget it and most of all, I will never forget how I felt during my trip and how I felt when I came back.

Before starting with the things that I learned from solo traveling, I would like to share a few words about the story behind this first solo trip.

As I told you, I was thinking of doing it for a longtime but I didn't really have the guts to do it. I was too scared and insecure. Plus, my geographical orientation was very bad (I was always capable to lose my way and to go in a completely wrong direction). So for a longtime I thought that it was not for me. I had traveled only with other people until that moment and I was always relying on them to find the right way, to catch the right train or bus, to not get lost in the metro.

Well, as I love challenges, I decided to do everything that I couldn't do or I was bad at. This decision was actually an emergency decision. When I say “an emergency decision”, I mean that I was in a very bad place in my life at that moment – I was living in a new town where I couldn't find new friends, I was having very frequent arguments with my co-workers, I was not feeling happy about my job... I was really not feeling good about my life in general. Actually, I was very depressed. Pretty sad!

At the final stage of this horrible depression which lasted for a couple of months, I said to myself that I really have to do something which will make me feel alive again. Something new, something that I wanted to do by myself, so I could feel again my own inner strength. During this moment of sadness and depression, I had also traveled with friends of mine, which was really fun, but it was not enough. I was still feeling blue and wanted to do something empowering, to go out of my comfort zone and see a new side of myself that I still didn't know.

Solo travel was the best choice! I had been thinking about it for a longtime, always finding excuses for not doing it. Also, I was having this dream of traveling the world and again, always finding excuses for not doing it ( like a lack of money (see my blog post), of time or of people to join me). Well, as I was depressed, I decided that I didn't have anything to lose and that “Screw it! I am gonna be a bad-ass!”.

I am pretty sure that I am not going to surprise you by telling you that this is an adventure that completely changed my life, my perception of traveling, my visions about the world and made me learn how a solo trip could be the ultimate path to self-discovery. It is a life-changing experience! Here I come with 10 reasons why everybody should try solo traveling at least once in their life and what I personally learned from this experience. I am pretty sure that I could find even more reasons to do it, but let's start with these ones.

1. Do not wait for other people to do what you want to do. Just do it!

As I already said, I was delaying my solo travel for a longtime, maybe at least 2 years. I was always finding some new excuses. The real reason for not doing it early in my life, was that I was super scared to go somewhere new all by myself, knowing that I would not have anyone to rely on and that I would have to deal alone with my own shit. That was freaking me out! Literally!

So, before my solo trip, I was still trying to avoid the unavoidable and decided to ask some of my closest friends if they wanted to do it with me (which would have not been a solo travel anymore!). They all were either busy or had already planned theirs holidays. So that was it! This was the moment! I couldn't run away from it anymore! I had to do it! I had told everybody I knew that I was going on a solo travel, so I really really had to do it! And I did it! I packed my backpack, opened the front door, closed it and came back two weeks later feeling like a new born.

So, if you really want to do something, anything, in your life, do not wait for other people to do it with you. Just do it. Many of my friends and family didn't believe me that I was going to go on this trip alone, but I did and I was proud of myself. I didn't want to waste my time anymore and not travel, even though it was one of my dreams, only because no one was available. Do your stuff and if someone wants to join you – fine, if not – still do it, it is going to be even better. (I am not going to talk about this right now, but there are many very selfish reasons why solo traveling is better than traveling with other people). Life is short, so do not be scared to do the things you really want to do! Go for it! It is going to change your life!

2. You will learn how to take care of yourself.

Yes. Do not forget that you are going to be all by yourself, so you will have to think a little bit more than you maybe think when you are with other folks. Try to not get drunk and put yourself in dangerous situations like interacting with “suspicious” people or going to the house of someone you just met at a bar. Know, that you are alone. If you don't take care of yourself, nobody will. Your friends and family are far away from you. They could not help you. Maybe you are in a country you don't speak the language. Do not be naïve and think twice before making a decision. It is way better that some people think that you are boring or weird instead of getting completely wasted and not knowing what you do, where you go and with whom. I don't say that you don't have to trust people, but listen to your gut and pay attention to the small details (how people talk to you, if they look at you in the eyes, if they try to touch in an inappropriate way...).

One of my rules when I travel alone, is to always stay sober (I can have a drink or two, but not more). I want to know that I am completely present in every moment and I know what is happening. This is how I make sure to not put myself in bad situations it could be difficult to go out of.

3. You are going to meet new people and even make friends.

While I suggest that you really try to be careful about the people you meet during your solo trip, you are definitely going to meet many and with some of them you will feel a real connection and many good souvenirs will last.

When I first solo traveled, I was so surprised by the number of people I met during my trip. I was meeting new people all the time, every day. Most of them trough Couchsurfing (my hosts, theirs flatmates, theirs friends or people on CS who just wanted to hang out with foreigners), some were friends of friends and others, people that I just met at a bar or at a coffee shop and felt comfortable to continue the conversation. If you stay at a hostel, you are definitely going to meet many travelers there as well. They are always up to hang out and explore the city you are visiting.

I am still in touch with many of the people I met through my travels. Some of them I already met again after my trips, and others I am going to meet in the future. You can make real friends on the road. Isn't it amazing? For me, the beauty of it is that it is very natural and spontaneous – real people looking for a real connection. Maybe you are going to spend only 2 hours together, but you will remember it for a long time. Other great thing is that a big part of the people who travel the world are very open minded and always willing to learn new things about your culture and are curious about life.

4. If you are an introvert, you are going to open up to other people.

If you are a shy person and don't feel comfortable talking to strangers or making friends in a foreign country, I still think that at some moment of your trip, you are going to be pushed out of your comfort zone and you will have to talk to someone you don't know. And this could be a great exercise to open up a little bit and to make starting conversations and having small talks with strangers easier for you. You are in a new country or town where you don't know anyone, what a better opportunity to learn how to become more extrovert and overcome your shyness? It is certain that you will need to ask someone for the right direction or to translate something for you, if you don't speak the language... you can not hide from it! But it is for your good and you know it, even if it could be scary. Me personality, I hate asking people on the street for anything, but I had to do it many times and in general, people are always kind and willing to help. So don't be scared and don't forget to smile!

5. You will have time for yourself.

On my first solo travel I really wanted to do it because I needed to stay alone. I wanted to be away from everything that could make me sad (people, my job, the new town I was living in... everything). It is true that I met many people during my travel, but I also had the time to stay alone and be by myself. And this time was really healing for me. I was feeling so calm and happy. I was reading my book at parks, on benches by a river not thinking about anything. Just being alone with myself. Even if you are in a very good place in your life, in our society nowadays, we have a very busy lifestyle and taking a time-out could be an amazing idea.

If you need time for yourself, solo travel is a great choice. You do what you want to do and you don't have to think about anyone else. You wake up when you want, you visit the sights you want to see, you spend the amount of money you want to spend on activities, food, museums etc. You are completely free to do what you want or don't want to do and nobody can stop you. It is completely up to you. Enjoy it!

6. Feeling lonely is fine.

Yes, you will have a lot of freedom and yes, you are also going to meet new people and yes, you will have time for yourself. And yes, you are maybe going to feel lonely at some point of your journey. And it is totally fine! In fact, you are actually going to learn how to deal with loneliness and maybe even to start appreciating more every person you have in your life.

In moments of loneliness, we start thinking of the people who are in our life and they are not with us right now. We think of all the stupid arguments, all the calls that we didn't make, all the “thank you” and “sorry” that we didn't say and we should have. It is a time of resolutions. You start understanding what is really important in your life and what is not. Who are the people you want to be by your side and who are those you don't want to keep close to you? Who are those who have good impact on you life and who are those who have bad influence on you? Are you happy in your life, with your job? What could you do to start talking again with your best friend / partner / parents? Where is your fault? Where is their fault?

You will have the time to find answers to all these existential for you questions. You are going to realize that in some of the cases, it is you who screwed up and in others, you screwed up a little less. ;) Feeling lonely can be a very powerful time, it could be very enlightening for you. If you feel lonely, do not get depressed! This is the worst mistake one could do on a solo travel. Use this alone time and turn it into a big powerful light showing you the right way, the answers you were looking for but you were too scared to find. After this moment of loneliness and enlightenment, you will feel better than ever. Stronger and light, in peace with yourself.

7. You are going to come back feeling stronger and very proud of yourself.

I remember when I came back from my first solo trip (and I was still alive!), I was feeling so empowered, so strong in my core, so proud of myself because I did it. Leaving my home, I was freaking out thinking that I am going to die in a foreign country alone, but obviously, I did not. I was so happy! I can not even explain it. I was happy and proud because I did something I wanted to do for such a longtime. I did it alone which was super scary. I pushed myself to go out of my own limits and it was freaking awesome! I was feeling like Super Woman and Wonder Woman at the same time. I was feeling like I could conquer the world, like I could do anything.

Remember that anything is possible. We just have to make the move and grab what we want from this life. My depression was gone. I was in peace with myself, ready to go back to the normal life with new energy and motivation. The problems were still there, they were not gone, but my perception of them was different. I was feeling strong enough to face them and to figure out a way to overcome the obstacles.

If you want to feel this inner power that everybody has but sometimes we forget about it, traveling alone is one of the actions you can take for that.

8. Everything is going to be fine.

As I already said many times, when I was leaving for my travel, I was very scared. I had all these horrible scenarios in my head – I was dieing, I was being raped, I was completely lost in a country where I don't speak the language and I can't find my way to the hostel, I was getting robbed and finding myself alone without any money or a passport and couldn't come back home... If though all of these scenarios are possible to happen (I won't say that it is crazy to think that a young girl can get raped in a foreign country because it is not), don't forget that they could happen in your country and in your town as well. Unfortunately, many people die every day because of such horrible things. It is not because you are in a country you don't know and you are alone, that it is definitely going to happen. It can happen everywhere!

My advice is open your eyes, be careful, don't get wasted with people that you just met, ask for help if needed, have always your passport and your wallet with you, stay away from people who make you feel uncomfortable. This is also advice that I would give you for your every-day-life. So relax, try to enjoy your trip and your time for yourself and everything is going to be fine. This is going to be an empowering experience.

9. People come and go, but you stay.

During my trips I met many people. With some of them, I am still in touch – we text, we even see each other when we can, and with others, we don't and this is normal. You don't have to feel the pressure of staying in touch with every single person you meet during your travel. With some people it happens that you feel this special connection and with others you feel it less, or not at all. But one thing that I learned from these travels, is that people in your life will come and go. With some people you will have a great relationship, they could become your friends or even partners, with other people you are only going to spend 10 incredible minutes, 1 day, a couple of days, months or years. But all these people will go at some point from your life. The only person who is going to stay with you until the end is YOU.

The only person that you have in your life forever is yourself. The only person you can always rely on, is yourself. The only person you have to trust a 100% is yourself. The only person you have to fully love, respect and take care of is yourself. If you don't, nobody will. This is why I love solo travels so much. Because they make you realize that you really have to love yourself more and think about your physical and mental health. It is your responsibility. It is your responsibility to take care of yourself and to get your shit together. You are a grown-up, learn how to be independent! Learn to make conscious choices and decisions and do not blame the others for your mistakes. Your happiness is your responsibility. Learn how to love yourself because you are stuck with this person for the rest of your life!

10. Solo travel = self discovery.

Well, as you can see, solo traveling is an experience that teaches us so many things about life, the world, the people we meet and finally, ourselves. When you really find yourself alone, you see everything – you see your fears, your insecurities, your limiting beliefs, your wounds but you can also see your hidden skills and qualities, your strength, your dreams coming true, your larger vision of the world, the good people who still exist and are always willing to help, the incredible beauty of this world and the magic of living your life to the fullest. You just have to dare! Dare to make the first step! Dare to go out of your comfort zone! Dare to start a conversation with a stranger! Dare to travel with no money! Dare to buy these tickets! Dare to catch this plane! Dare to love yourself! Dare to LIVE! Love, Elena