How do your dreams change your life and the world?

Photo by Benjamin Sow on Unsplash

Recently I had a very interesting discussion on Quora (you can check my profile here) about dreams. This made me think back about my childhood and how I haven't changed a lot when it comes to dreaming. I have always been a huge dreamer and probably, I will always be one.

When I was a child, I could spend a whole day just daydreaming. I have to tell you, that even now, when I am 28, I still catch up myself daydreaming for a pretty long time. Many times I tried to stop this, to tell myself to stop being such a dreamer and an idealist, to have my two feet on the ground like most of the people. At some point, I just gave up. I was really unhappy when I was trying to stop myself from doing what it was feeling natural to me. This made me realize that this was just who I was – a dreamer. This is my nature. Some people are very pragmatic, they dream only when they sleep and never let theirs thoughts go wild, and there are some other folks, like me, who are just natural daydreamers. They will dream about the future, about adventures, travels, new projects, new opportunities, relationships and so much more (you can not even imagine).

When two years ago, I started working closely with people who live in extreme poverty, what stroke me was the fact that they didn't have dreams. They don't allow themselves having dreams. They don't believe in dreams anymore. For them, this is the shortest path to disappointment and regret. They think this is only for children because they are naïve and they still don't know the cruelty of the world and people. The first time when I heard this, I felt so sorry for these people, so sad. How could you stop dreaming? How damaged and sad could you be? How much disappointed and desperate? For me, this is the worst thing that could happen to someone.

Losing your ability to have dreams is losing your faith. It is losing your soul.

I believe that no matter what, we must continue dreaming. We must continue having faith in miracles and in a brighter future. Dreams can change the world. They will first change your world and then, the world around you. Every great thing that happened had started with a thought. With a thought that became a dream, and then, an intention.

How do dreams work?

Thought + Feeling + Action → Belief → Intention

It all starts with a thought. “I wish I could have that. I wish I was like that. I wish I was there. I wish I was with this person. I wish I could achieve this.” When you think of all the things you want to have in life, you start having a good feeling about it. You feel happy, enthusiastic, motivated, joyful, playful, optimistic. You like going back to these pleasurable thoughts because of the way they make you feel. This is what daydreaming is. This is fantasizing. This is a very superficial stage of dreaming. You think of all those nice things and you feel happy about it, but you don't actually do anything to make them become a reality. You don't put any action into it. When you do, you have a thought, a feeling, an action (a plan) and this becomes a belief. Now, you know that one day you will have this. Maybe you still don't know how, but you will. You will figure it out. Because you have the intention to do so. These are dreams that will potentially become true.

However, you need to know that if you only stay at the first stage of dreaming (fantasizing), this might become dangerous at some point. You can completely lose yourself in your dreams. You can lose touch with reality and start living in your own world that has nothing to do with the real one. This could have a negative impact on your life. It can affect negatively your relationships, your work, your ability to focus, your perception of yourself. This is an escape from the reality. In this case, people should ask themselves where the problem is, why they want to run away from reality, what is the thing that they can not accept about themselves and the world. It takes a lot of personal work and courage to answer these questions, but it is highly important if we want to have a real happy life where our dreams actually become true.

Dreams are the window to our soul.

There is one quote in the movie “Arizona Dream” that really hit me the first time I watched it : “If you want to look at someone's soul, look at theirs dreams”. Our true dreams show us who we really are, what we really want in life, what really matters to us, what are our genuine desires. Very often, our soul is so well hidden deep inside that we completely forget about it or stop paying attention to it. In modern society, we want so badly to be like the others, to be cool and popular, to be accepted that we fear so much to show our true self and what we really want in life. For many years, I was trying to convince myself that I didn't want to be in a relationship, that I didn't want to have children, that I just wanted to fool around and have some fun. I thought this was freedom. I know that it may sound funny for many of you but it was actually easier to believe that. All my friends were having this kind of freely bohemian lifestyle and I thought that so should I. The reality is that I just wanted to be accepted. Now, I am not afraid anymore and I don't care if people laugh at me when I say that I want to have a family, I want to have many children, I want to have a loving spouse one day. Yes, I do imagine my life like that. I have always wanted this deep inside. Unfortunately, often we feel ashamed of our true desires. We don't want people to make fun of us. But if we don't accept who we truly are and love ourselves, no one will.

Your dreams show the standards you have for yourself.

If you have big dreams for your future, you also have big standards. You have the confidence and the faith that you can achieve your dreams. When you have that, your dreams become goals. You know that you deserve them to become true. You put the bar high for what comes in your life. Everything and everyone below your standards, is just not right for you. You know what is best for you right now. You know what investment you need to make in order to achieve your goals. If you want to have a successful business, you know that you have to work a lot. Sometimes, you will spend sleepless nights, you will not go out with your friends, but you know that your dream is your priority right now and you put your focus on it. If you want to find a loving and a caring partner, you will stop chasing people who don't treat you right and you will start looking for someone who is willing to give you what you deserve – love and respect.

When we dream about something and we know that we want to have it one day, that means that we have to make some changes in our life. In order to get something that we don't have, we need to start living a life that we haven't lived before. Big dreams, big standards... and also, big changes.

Dreams open the door to a new life.

This is how dreams work. We don't dream for things that we already have, we dream about things that we don't have, but we wish we would. If we believe that one day our dreams can come true, we actually open the door for a world of new opportunities and to a new life. Everything could change once our dreams become reality. This is why we always have to ask ourselves “Why do I want that?” “What are my motives?”. People say “Be careful with what you dream of, it may come true”. We need to be ready to welcome the consequences of what we want to have or we think we want to have. You want to be in a relationship, great! But this also means that now you are not only thinking about yourself, you can not make decisions alone, you can not just decide to go to another country and start a new life. You have to make some space for another person in your world. You want to have a successful career – you will have to work a lot, sometimes even on weekends and until late, you will not have a lot of free time, you will have big responsibilities and you will need to learn how to deal with stress and anxiety. Sometimes we realize that we didn't really want what we thought we wanted, but the only way to understand this is by getting there, by walking the path. Often, when this happens, it is because we had the wrong motives at first place. We wanted the career because we wanted to have a lot of money and power. We wanted to have a family because we were scared of being lonely. The wrong motives never lead to happiness and fulfillment.

Dreams could be the beginning of something great.

How could you experience something great if you have never dreamed of it? If you have never thought about it? Everything starts with a thought, remember? With a thought and with a belief. Your dreams will show you your true potential. The potential you know you have but you still need to explore and develop. Believing in your dreams makes you believe in yourself. It shows the strength of your character. Sometimes, people will laugh at you and will think that you are a fool. Your dreams are a real test for you to know if you really deserve to get what you dream of. They could be a new chapter in your life if you believe in them. If you believe in yourself. They are your first steps into something amazing.

Dreams give sens to life.

What is a life without dreams, without hopes? It is sadness. It is existing but not living. What makes life beautiful is the unknown, the future and everything that comes along with it. Yes, sometimes, it is not very bright but it is still worth living. Sadness and troubles are a part of the the journey. Dreams keep us alive. They give sens to our life. They are the little sparkle that makes the fire light up. If you talk to a kid, you will see how many dreams they have. All the kids, even the poor and the ill ones. They all have dreams. They are not scared of dreaming. Their mind doesn't know boundaries. The boundaries that adults' minds know are the society's boundaries. What would people say? What would people think? Am I going to be accepted? Is this stupid? These are limiting beliefs that don't allow us to develop our true potential and to see what is happening beyond the boundaries. How could we know if we don't make a step forward?

Every great thing in the world (an innovation, a discover, a research) has started with a dream, with something that has never been done before, something that nobody knew about it or nobody believed it was possible. Believing in our dreams is much more than just believing in some fairytale scenarios. It is believing in ourselves. Believing that we can do it. We can make it work. We can go through it. We can have it. We deserve it. Our dreams are our souls' stories. This is how our soul is talking to us. This is how our soul is singing to us. I believe that if we want to live a happy and a fulfilling life, we need to listen to it. So, stay quiet for a moment. Take a deep breath. Close your eyes. Open your heart. Dream. Feel. Believe. Change. Love. Elena

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