What did working out teach me about life?

Photo by Victor Freitas on Unsplash

I love working out. I love going to the gym and spending there 1h30/4 times per week. I love feeling exhausted after my workout. I love the feeling of being strong in my core. However, I don't really think that I have always been sporty even though I used to play tennis in high-school, I love dancing and having long long walks, I enjoy swimming, but nothing extreme. I was doing it now and then just to feel good, to move a little bit.

I actually started working out really hard when I got one of my knees injured almost 6 years ago. I went to the doctor and he said to me that I had to do exercises in order to build muscle around it and make it become strong again. At this time, I have already had a gym membership, but again, I was going to it maybe 3 times per week without really having a plan or a specific routine, without having a goal. I didn't really want to lose weight, I just wanted to build a little bit of muscle. That's all.

After hearing my doctor that I had to do exercise in order to heal, I immediately went to the gym and talk to one of the coaches. I was feeling pain in my knee and I had been having troubles walking normally for maybe 1 month. I was really scared that maybe I would not be able to walk well again or sit down without feeling pain. I needed to do something about it!

So, my fitness instructor made a plan with maybe 5 or 6 exercises that I had to do every single day, first without weights and then, with weights, increasing them slightly. I was going to the gym 5 times per week, I was super motivated... I wanted to fix this thing! This was my goal! I was not thinking of losing weight, gaining muscles or having a healthier lifestyle, I just wanted to walk normally again.

My instructor and I were very surprised when only within a month I had lost the half of the fat that I had before and I was feeling way better in my knee. I had to continue. It took me maybe 3 or 4 months to heal, maybe less or more... I don't remember anymore. The important thing is that by this time, going to the gym had become a routine for me, a part of my day, of my life. It became a habit, something that I was doing for me in order to achieve a better physical state. I even thought (maybe I was all making it up in my mind) that if I skip a week at the gym, I would feel again pain in my knee. Even if it was maybe not true, it did work for me in order to maintain my routine and stick to it.

Now, fitness and weight training is 100% a part of my life. I can not live without it! I change pretty often my locations due to my work and the first thing I do when moving to a new city is looking for a new gym. People still look at me and can not believe that I enjoy it so much, maybe because in Europe people in general think this is only for guys, this is not a real sport, girls will look like men and so on, but I will talk about these prejudices in another blog post.

After almost 6 years of working out, I realize that this “habit” changed me a lot. I think that I learned a lot of things about life and how to have higher performances in whatever I do, how to become a better version of myself not only physically, but also mentally, what is really important in life, how to achieve better results and how to make healthy decisions. Here I share some of the lessons I learned throughout the years until now. I don't think that everybody should work out. Fitness and weight training is not for everybody, but I believe that everybody should move! Dance, walk, take the stairs, do some squats, play with your kids or friends, take your bike, go for a hike... just move! If you want to create a great healthy life, you need first to build some habits that make you feel great and healthy.

Whatever you do, if you want to see good results, have the right motives.

Have you ever found yourself in a situation where you ask yourself why things didn't work out the way you expected, why your relationship ended although everything was perfect, why you work so hard and you don't see the results you wish for, why it has been months you go to the gym and you still feel miserable when you look at yourself in the mirror? Maybe if you go deeper and you search for the main reasons you started doing whatever you are doing, you will find that you were driven by the wrong motives.

If you want to lose weight because you hate your body and you should look like a Victoria's Secret model, this is a wrong motive to start going to the gym. If you are in a relationship with someone because you don't want to be alone and you are scared of being lonely, you have the wrong motive to be in this relationship. If you have a certain job only because it pays very well and people are wow-ed when they hear about it, you have again the wrong motive to keep it.

In all these situations you have been driven by your ego, your fears and by what the society tells you that you should like and have in order to feel good and important, instead of truly loving and accepting yourself for who you are and listening to your instincts and your heart. If you want to lose weight, do it because you think that you will feel stronger, younger, healthier, more energized and toned. Don't do it because you hate yourself. Actually, before losing your weight, start loving yourself as you are right now. Love your curves, your shape, your weight... who said that we all have to be skinny to be beautiful? Don't let the media to mess up with your mind and your self-esteem. If you want to see positive changes and outcomes in whatever area in your life, have positive motives for that! Be driven by truly positive thoughts and goals! Be inspired!

You only see results when you go out of your comfort zone.

Whatever you do, if you want to see results, you have to go out of your comfort zone. This is the only way we change and we grow. There is no other way. You will have to push through it, you will have to face your biggest fears, you will feel pain and discouragement, you will feel scared, you will have moments of doubt, but this is how it works.

If you want to see results at the gym, you have to put weights and to increase them over time. You have to sweat it up. You will have to struggle and funny enough, this is actually the moment when you really work out. This moment of struggle and pain at the end of your reps is the moment you grow your muscles. It is the same in life. If you are afraid of public speaking (as I am), I am pretty sure that life will send you some great opportunities to face this fear and to overcome it (I had to talk on the radio a couple of weeks ago and I did it!!). So, don't limit yourself to your comfort zone. Go out of it! Know that you can achieve more and you become a little bit stronger with every single day. Keep going.

Be patient.

This is something I struggle a lot with, but I am doing my best. The reality is that whatever you do, you will not see results immediately. It takes time. Sometimes, it takes a lot of time. You need to learn to be patient and to have faith, to not lose hope even if you still did not get the outcome you are looking for.

It is true that sometimes when you make a change in your lifestyle, you could see results pretty fast, but these are results that don't last for a longtime. If you want to invest in yourself and to see great outcomes in the long run that will last, you need to be patient and motivated. Sometimes, it takes months or even years to get what you want, but it is worth it. Through the process, you learn even more than you expect.

Discipline is the key to everything.

No matter what you do, you need to have discipline in order to achieve your goals! I believe that discipline is the key to every success in every area of life. It is not talent, it is not superpowers, it is discipline! You need to be disciplined, to have a plan, a routine and to stick to it. Sometimes it is going to be hard, sometimes you are going to want to do something else and to leave everything behind, sometimes you will be exhausted... but you need to keep going. When you have discipline, you don't go away from important things only because you got bored or you feel lazy. You push yourself through it.

I am disciplined to go to the gym 4 times per week, to go to work, to wash my face and to brush my teeth every day. Do I always feel like doing it? No, but I know that it is important and I have to do it. I am doing myself a favor by doing these things.

Be present in the moment. Do not lose concentration.

When I work out, I notice that it is very important to not get distracted by the things going on around. Otherwise, I completely forget the count of my repetitions, which series of the exercise I am doing... I am just somewhere else. I often see people who work out for 5 minutes and then, they stop and talk for 15 minutes with their friend. I also see people who stay on a machine for an hour and read a book or check their phone at the same time. You will never get results if you don't put all your concentration in one thing at the time. Don't get distracted and be present in the moment! If you work out – work out, don't check your phone or send texts. If you work – work, don't talk all the time with your co-workers about your weekend or summer holiday. When you eat – eat, don't watch TV. You get the point. When you put all your concentration in one thing, this allows you to give more energy to it and to have better results.

No matter what you do, you will never be perfect.

Accept it. Nobody is perfect. I have been working out really hard for almost 6 years now and for many people, I have the perfect body. The truth is that when I look at myself, I don't see a perfect body, I still see some things that I don't like, but I know that no matter what I do, no matter how hard I work out at the gym, how clean I eat, I will always find some imperfections in me. And this is fine. Nobody has the perfect body, the perfect life or the perfect relationship. The media tries to make us believe that we are not good enough, that we have to change in order to fit in and that there is always something better around the corner, but the truth is that we are completely perfect the way we are right now. We should learn how to love and accept ourselves with our weaknesses and imperfections, because they will always be there. So let's stop looking at ourselves in the mirror, trying to find things to change and let's just enjoy the process.

You can also check my article on perfection here : Be smart and stop trying to be perfect

Sometimes you will get bored, you will cheat and this is OK.

Sometimes we need to relax. I know people who try really really hard to achieve theirs goals. So hard that they exhaust themselves and instead of being happy, they become sad, angry and anxious because they don't see the results they wish they see. Sometimes, I get bored with my fitness routine, with my job, even with my friends and for me, this is the time to take a break. Sometimes I feel like eating pizza and ice-cream and I do it. Do I do it every day? No. But I think it is really important to listen to yourself and to your body and to give it a break sometimes. It is normal to get bored, it is normal to want to have a cheat day, a week or even a whole month. Do not be too hard on yourself. If you lost the feeling of happiness when doing something, find something else to do or take a break. It helps a lot.

If you want to become better in something, change.

At the gym – change the weights, change the exercises, change your normal routine, try yoga, pilates, boxing, lifting, HIIT, spinning... just make a change. This is the only way you will avoid boredom and you will find the best workouts that really suit you and make you feel happy and toned.

In life, every change is a new beginning. It is also the end of something old. Change is never easy, but this is how we grow, how we learn and how we evolve into better people and citizens. Do not be scared of change. Embrace the unknown and have faith that it is always for the best.

Stop measuring your success by numbers aka forget the scale.

When I was younger, especially when I was a teenager, I used to look at the scale and measure myself all the time. When I saw a number that I didn't like, I was freaking out, thinking of starting a diet or not eating at all. Now, I realize how bad this is for people's self-confidence and self-esteem. Right now, I don't know my weigh and I don't want to know it. I don't have a scale at home and I am not thinking of buying one. What is important is not how much you weigh, but how you feel in your body. If you feel good, if you like yourself, why do you have to know your weigh? It is completely pointless. Also, don't forget that we all have different body types. Looking at some stupid numbers can be very depressing making you think that you are too fat or too skinny when you are just perfect.

The society makes us measure everything – our salaries, our followers, the amount of money we spend, the years of professional experience, the number of diplomas... We see numbers everywhere. Stop measuring your success by numbers, but by your level of fulfillment based on your level of happiness.

Comparing to others will destroy you.

When you start working out, you realize that there will always be someone who is fitter than you. When you start working, you realize that there will always be someone who has more experience and knowledge than you. Whatever you do, there will always be someone who is “better”. You can not escape from it. But comparison is very very destructive. It makes you feel like you are not good enough, like you are less of a person. This could be very dangerous and damaging for the mental health. It can literally destroy you. So, stop comparing yourself to others. Accept yourself for who you are and live your life without looking at the others. Try to limit the social media and focus on yourself and on your happiness.

Love yourself and your body no matter how they look.

We all have different shapes and body structures. Some people are tall, others are short. Some people are blond, others are ginger, some people have white skin, others black or darker... No matter how you look, you should love yourself. This is what makes people attractive – their self-confidence and self-acceptance. Nowadays, we don't have only Victoria's Secret models anymore, we also have models size plus, trans models, old people being models... It is important to realize that everybody is beautiful in some ways. So, treat yourself with some love and respect and believe in your attractiveness. This is how we steal hearts... and smiles.

Build healthy habits and make healthy choices.

I know many good people with good intentions who make bad decisions and they suffer from that. Being healthy is not only about going to the gym and eating healthy food. These are very important habits that everybody should incorporate in their lifestyle, but heaving a healthy happy life is more about making healthy decisions. Learn how to listen to your instincts and always go for what feels right. Always choose the people who treat you right and make you feel loved and special. Always go for the work that make you feel happy, useful and fulfilled. Always (or almost) choose the food that will give you energy and will make you feel good in your body. Leave behind everything that is not in your best service – people, environment, alcohol, cigarets, job... Make your healthy choices become healthy habits!

It is all about having fun.

Life is about being happy and having fun. Of course, we can not always be smiling, in a good mood and motivated to conquer the world, but we should enjoy life. If you don't like going to the gym, find some other physical activity that you will enjoy. If you don't like going to work and seeing your co-workers, maybe you should think of changing your job. There is no point in wasting your time and energy in something that does not bring you happiness. Life is too short. Do what you want to do! Don't always wait for other people to join you in the process! The right ones will do it when you start the journey yourself. If you want to travel – travel. If you want to find a spouse – start dating. If you want to live abroad – start looking for job offers in a new country. If you want to go to college – apply. If you want to be happy – do things that make you happy. If you want to get something – give something away. If you want to be loved – YOU love first! Enjoy the process. Love, Elena