The lessons I learned from living a simple life

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Nowadays we live in a very material world – society tells us that we have to buy things in order to feel happy. People are constantly looking for the next best gadget on the market or the last fashion trend. Society makes us believe that possessing expensive and luxurious objects is a privilege and this is what will make us different from the other people who can not afford to have this lifestyle. Many of us believe that only expensive things can make us unique because there are no many people who can buy them, they are limited editions.

The truth is that we are all different and unique not because of the things we possess, but because of who we are, of our unique personalities, of our authenticity. Unfortunately, it is far easier to show this through material possessions than to feel it in your core, to know it and to believe in it. Actually, we want to show people what we have so we can make sure that everybody knows that we are different. We want to “show” our success and happiness by something material that we can see and touch, because we are not sure ourselves in its existence. This is why we look for people's validation.

I remember how my whole life, I was thinking that in order to be happy, I needed to be successful in every area in my life – personal and professional. I needed to be the best! For me a professional success was always related to money. I thought that if I had a great job that was paying a great salary, I could afford buying myself luxurious clothing, buying a big house and decorating it with expensive furniture, buying a nice car... so I could “show” people that I am a successful young woman who can do whatever she wants. It is really incredible how we think that objects can make us happy, how something external can give us joy and fulfillment, how a pair of shoes can make us smile and feel better, how we can think and spend sleepless nights thinking of buying something new, but not thinking of calling a friend or our parents instead, how an expensive dress can make us feel prettier, but not the natural glow after a catch up with an old friend that we have not seen for a while. Many of us define themselves with the objects they possess and not by who they are.

Two years ago, I started working for an NGO fighting against the extreme poverty in the world. I work every day with people who don't have money and live in an every-day permanent struggle to survive. Working with these people made me realize how much money people spend for useless things and how most of us are completely unconscious of the way we consume. So, I decided to start living a simple life.

I did not want to buy many things anymore. I wanted to buy only stuff that I really needed. I threw away most of my clothing because I didn't put it anymore. I stopped smoking and drinking, started reading a lot of books like I used to. Now, after two years of living in a very simple way, I can tell you that I feel stronger than ever, more confident about who I really am, what I want to achieve in my life, what kind of person I want to become, more aware of what really matters. It was not and it is still not an easy journey, but it is worth living it.

Living simply, only with a few things, the things that you really need, is actually very empowering. It is really a life changing experience that affects not only our material possessing, but also our relationship with ourselves and with the others. We start seeing life and the world from a different spectrum, much more mature and thoughtful. We can easily get distracted and influenced by shiny things, but once we stop caring about the box, we can finally see clearly what is inside. In this article, I would like to share with you what I learned so far from my two-year experience living a simple life. I am still learning and I know that two years from now I would have even more things to share with you. One thing to know is that this is a great adventure! Let's go!

Get rid of the things you don't need anymore. Make space in your home and life.

The first thing that I did when I decided that I wanted to have a simpler lifestyle was to get rid of all the things that I was not using anymore – cloths, shoes, furniture, stuff that people gave me and I never touched. Cleaning my house, I realized how much useless stuff I was keeping. We don't think about it, but we always buy something new. It could be a small thing like a new white T-shirt, but we buy things that we don't necessarily need and we stuff our lives with them. Following fashion trends is something that keeps us into an excessive consumption.

Donating and giving for recycling the things that I don't use anymore, made so much free space in my home. It is incredible how the material stuff we keep blocks the energy flow in our house and in our lives. It is holding us back from something new and better. Once we have space, we can breath freely, easily, peacefully. It is liberating. We feel light. This is also a great way to welcome something or someone new in our life.

Now, before I buy something, I first think if I really need it or not and if I don't, in most of the cases, I just don't buy it. Of course, that does not mean that sometimes I don't allow myself to buy something only because I like it, just for my personal pleasure, but I try to do it very rarely.

Pay attention to how you spend your money.

I also started paying really close attention to how I was spending my money. I keep a track of everything that I buy. This is how I know where my money went. I also started looking for second hand shops to buy clothing, books and furniture. They are an amazing way to save money and buy good quality objects for cheap. Often people throw or give away furniture and other objects that still work very well. You can buy them for really cheap, almost for free sometimes. I always feel very glad when I find something useful that still works and I buy it for cheap. I have the feeling that I give this object a second life and that even if it breaks in a couple of weeks, it is going to be fine because I know that I did not pay a lot to have it.

When you start having a simple life, you discover new ways of consumption. I know people who buy clothing and furniture only from second hand shops. I also know people who collect and eat food thrown away from big supermarkets. This is their way to fight against famine and starvation. I know that this is not for everybody, but these are some examples of how people can live a very simple life just by discovering new and more mindful ways of consumption.

Go back to the basics. DIY.

If you want to live a simple life, I suggest to go back to the basics and to try to be creative. Try to make some of the things you need by yourself. Some people sew theirs cloths, others are going to paint theirs old jeans and sweaters in order to make them more beautiful and trendy. People are also going to try to make the decoration of theirs homes by themselves. On Pinterest (check out my Pinterest boards) we could find billions of easy and great ideas. If you don't want to spend money, learn how to be creative and do it yourself.

If I have to be honest, this is not my biggest strength. I hate DIYing, but I try to buy and to care less about trends. I travel a lot and move from one city to another often, so I don't really need new furniture and even if I have a 20 year-old vacuum cleaner, I don't care. It just has to work.

Another thing that I noticed since I started having a simpler life is that I got back my interest for books, good movies, paintings, art, journaling and classical music. I don't know if it is related, but now I am interested in art and personal growth more than ever before. I feel the need to go back to the things that make me grounded, calm and in peace with myself. You can also check my articles on How is art changing you and the world? and Why is reading books important?

Look for free cultural events.

Once I started living a simpler life, I was blown away by the number of free cultural events we can attend. Very often non profit organizations, universities and other institutions organize free conferences on different topics. They invite people from different professional and social fields, sometimes even from a different country to talk about something they find important. This is how a month ago, I went to a free conference organized by Amnesty International about the refugees in France. The conference was in the School of journalism in the town I live.

Another great deal are libraries. Now, we can have a free membership (or very low price) to almost every local library where we can find a bunch of amazing books, magazines, DVDs, newspapers and so much more. Libraries also organize free cultural events quite often. Normally, they are open to everybody, even for those who don't have a membership.

Another great think that I found was independent cinemas. These are places where you can watch movies on different topics, you can also meet in person the creators and talk to them, ask them questions. Often you leave the amount of money you can and you want to. The idea is that every person could benefit from it.

Also, in many countries now you can go one day of the month for free in museums – in France for example is every first Sunday of the month. You also have The Nights of the Museums in Europe where you can go to every museum one evening per year for free.

So, yes, we don't need to have a lot of money in order to go and to attend cultural events. We just have to search for the good deals.

Websites with promotions.

This is something that I have not used yet but sometimes I like checking those websites just to see what they offer. Groupon is a great place where you can find really great deals – travels, clothing, SPA procedures, accessories, technology... you name it. I even think that I am going to book myself a massage for my birthday that will only cost me 30 euros instead of 70. Isn't it a great deal?

Get in touch with the nature.

It is amazing how once you start living with less, you feel again the need to go back to the nature, to the basics, to what is real, raw and natural. I have always been a city girl and have loved living in big cities with many people, big crowds and horrible traffic jams. Now, I still live in a big city, but I feel more and more the urge to go to the countryside at weekends, to a calm park or just somewhere I can find a peace of mind, I can talk to my friends without hurrying up and actually hear the birds and see the stars in the night. Many people who live a simple life also like gardening and growing theirs own fruits and vegetables. It is sad how with the busy life we all have, we forget about these simple things like the flowers in the garden, the birds, the beautiful clouds in the sky, the trees... the things that have been around us all the time, but somehow we forgot to pay attention to.

Be creative.

I didn't expect to learn that, but having a simple lifestyle makes you become more creative. If you want to do or to buy something, but it is too expensive and you don't want to spend a lot of money and it is still very important to you, you need to find alternative ways in order to get it. It could be looking for cheaper solutions, promotions, free stuff, donations, Couchsurfing, cheap travel, hostels... It all comes to experimenting and being creative. Having a creative mindset and being open to think out of the box. You want to eat organic food, but it is very expensive when you buy it from organic food stores? Well, you need to look for a different and more affordable option – like cooperatives and local shared gardens or the local market. You want to travel, but don't want to spend a lot of money – try hostels or Couchsurfing, look for cheap tickets months before the actual travel. You can also check my article on cheap travel here.

We have many, even too many options to do what we want to do even if we don't have a lot of money. We just need to be open to explore something new and different. We need to learn how to think out of the box.

Learn how to do things by yourself.

When I decided I wanted to have a simple life, the biggest struggle was that I did not want to cut from my lifestyle some of the things I was really into and were important to me like for example going to the gym. I am a gym addict and I can not imagine my life without going to the gym and lifting waits. So, I needed to find a cheaper gym. The thing is that at cheap gyms you don't have a coach and you have to do all by yourself. Well, I had to learn how to do it by myself. I have already had a quite good gym experience, so I had some knowledge, but I enriched it by watching Youtube videos and reading articles related to fitness and nutrition. This is how I learned how to do everything I wanted to do at the gym and still have great results (even better than before) and spend only 30 euros per month for the membership. I know people who train outdoors without equipment or do HIIT workouts... you don't have excuses, just invest some time and learn how to do things by yourself.

It is the same with healthy nutrition. Learn how to cook your own food. I almost never buy precooked food. I cook all my food – I save money and I know what I eat. It's a win. I also recently cut my own hair. I watched Youtube videos, thought about it for a couple of weeks and then, I did it. It was scary, but now I know that if I don't want to have a complicated haircut, but just a normal one, I can do it myself.

Stop smoking and drinking.

More than a year ago, I quit smoking. I was a smoker for maybe around 5-6 years and for a longtime I didn't really want to quit smoking – it was a pleasure for me and also a way to socialize with people. But one day I was fed up with it. I was done. I wanted to train harder at the gym, but I was constantly losing my breath and feeling weak, it was also too expensive... and actually, it was completely pointless. So I quit. By almost the same time, I decided to decrease the numbers of my drinks when I was going out because of the same reasons. Maybe it is the age, but I was feeling really tired and weak after every big night out and I hated it. I wanted to feel strong and healthy. We spend so much money on alcohol and cigarettes. It is insane! Some people spend almost or even more money on alcohol then they spend on food for a whole week. Quit smoking and start drinking less. You will save money and feel better than ever before! Guarantee!

Travel cheap.

One of the things that I love doing and I did not want to make a compromise with when I started my simple lifestyle was traveling. I love traveling. I love meeting new people and discovering new places and cultures. So I started traveling cheap. I have a whole post about that. You can check it out and see how I afford to travel. Not having a lot of money is definitely not something that should keep you away from traveling the world.

How to travel on a budget and why this will completely change your life

What you have does not define you.

We tend to think that what we possess defines us. It is true that our clothing, our house, our car are things that could show people what is our social status, if we earn a lot of money or not, if we could afford to have expensive things etc. But not always. Many people spend way more money than they actually have (which I find completely insane) and others, just like simple things and want to have a simple lifestyle.

For these two years of living in a very simple way, I learned that my cloths, my shoes, my apartment, the amount of money I have in my bank account, my old phone are things that don't define who I am and what is going to happen in my life. I don't think that I wasted my life because I don't own a property, not even a car, because I own who I truly am. I don't think that only because I buy clothing from second hand shops I am a second hand person. I don't think that only because I have 5 pairs of shoes, I have 0 great ideas in my head. I know who I am and what I achieved in my life until now. I don't need to have luxuries in my house in order to feel like I am a big fat luxury. We don't need to have luxurious possessions because we have luxurious personalities.

What you have now is enough.

Two years ago I thought that it was impossible to live with the money I live right now. Today I see that I can. People say that the more money you have the more money you need. And this is very true. We think that we need a lot of money to do the things that we want to do because we want to do expensive activities in an expensive way – people want to travel expensively, want to buy expensive cloths directly from the store (even though at second hand shops you can find sometimes the same pieces for 7o-80% less of the price), want to eat expensive food at expensive places, live in an expensive neighborhood and have an expensive car because theirs parents and friends will be impressed.

The truth is that we don't need to impress anyone else but ourselves. We need to learn that what we have right now is enough, even more than enough. We don't need a lot to live well. All we need is food, a roof above our heads, cloths and shoes. All the rest is pride. It is showing off. It is a bonus, but not a necessity. Now I try to live in the present and to think that what I have now is all I need. If I need more, I will have more. If I need less, I will have less. But this is not something that is going to stop me from enjoying this life to the fullest.

So, enjoy what you have now and don't think that you need more, because you don't. You just spend your great energy away by occupying your mind with this kind of thoughts. Enjoy life. If you need more, you will have more.

Be grateful.

It is related to the previous step. Be grateful for what you have right now. Even if I have a simple lifestyle, it is a simple lifestyle for me comparing to the lifestyle I used to have and I thought I would have one day. For many people it is not a simple lifestyle. I am completely aware that there are people who have far less than I have. That makes me think that I should be grateful even for the less I have now because it could be even lesser. This applies not only for material possessions, but also to the people we have in our life. Many of us are complaining because they don't have a partner or children, but they have parents, they have friends, they have great co-workers... Other people don't.

Appreciate what you have in life and don't take it for granted. Be grateful.

Accept who you are.

Buying things, trying to cover up our faces with make up, hiding in big houses and in big cars, hurrying up to get the dream job because of the dream pay... These are all things that keep us away from our true self and our real needs and desires. We all desire to be loved and accepted for who we are. With our good and bad sides. We started defining ourselves with the things we have and the lifestyle we can afford. If you have a poor lifestyle it definitely means you are a poor person.

The truth is that this mindset shows the lack of confidence people have in themselves. The lack of love for themselves. The society constantly tells us that we are not good enough, that we are not pretty enough or skinny enough, that we need to achieve more and more things and we always try to be like someone else. We constantly compare with the others. We think that we want to have a big house and an expensive car, but do we? Or we just want to be accepted and loved? Is the material what makes us happy or the people we have in our life and the adventures we live? Why should I think that I am pretty in a 500 euros dress and ugly in a 20 euros one?

What I learned so far is that the meaning of life is in the simple things. We people, we like making things complicated than they actually are. But the real deal is in the simpleness. All we need in life is love – love for the others, from the others and for ourselves. Love is what makes us see what is important, what matters in life. Love is what gives us a clear vision. Love is light. Love is patience. Love is acceptance. Love is gratitude. Not money but Love. Elena